As soon as they hear the key turn the lock
The frenzy begins
Twelve hours of day condensed into a five minute story
Chaotic but lovely.
As soon as they hear the key turn the lock
The frenzy begins
Twelve hours of day condensed into a five minute story
Chaotic but lovely.
When I first saw how bad the boys' sunburns were upon returning from their grandparents' I was shocked; when I saw that Ewan had developed blisters the size of quarters on his upper arms I almost cried and would have were not two boys depending on me to hold my stuff together. Chris and I washed their arms with vinegar and coated them with aloe. Ewan screamed and cried in pain. I had to hold him while Chris doctored his arms. He screamed "why is this happening to me?" and other things which caused Chris and I to give each other sorrowful looks.
In an effort to distract Ewan I thought of the silliest, most ridiculous thing to say, something which borrowed from the bathroom humor he finds so unbelievably hysterical.
"You know what I'm gonna do?" I asked him in a low voice.
"What?" he sobbed.
"I'm gonna go outside, find the sun, and kick the sun in the wiener for burning you."
He burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"MOM." Liam slid into the doorway aided by his socks. "Suns don't have ..."
"BE QUIET."
"They're balls of gas ..."
"STOP IT AND GET YOUR PAJAMAS ON."
"Hahaha! MOM. Did you hear me?? I said 'balls!'"
Life with boys.
Yesterday the boys got new sketching pads and Ewan sat in the kitchen, coloring furiously. When he was finished, he walked over to me and presented me with this:
OH YES. It IS what you think it is. It's me kicking the sun in the wiener, but kicking it so hard that the sun crapped itself. I cannot emphasize how much I adore the look on the sun's face.
"That's YOU, Mama!" Ewan said, enthusiastically pointing to the little person doing the kicking.
It's now hanging on the fridge, right next to his painting of "Hell But Not the Bad Word the Place."
The takeaway: be careful what you say to your kids. They may draw a visual representation of it.
In an effort to distract Ewan I thought of the silliest, most ridiculous thing to say, something which borrowed from the bathroom humor he finds so unbelievably hysterical.
"You know what I'm gonna do?" I asked him in a low voice.
"What?" he sobbed.
"I'm gonna go outside, find the sun, and kick the sun in the wiener for burning you."
He burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"MOM." Liam slid into the doorway aided by his socks. "Suns don't have ..."
"BE QUIET."
"They're balls of gas ..."
"STOP IT AND GET YOUR PAJAMAS ON."
"Hahaha! MOM. Did you hear me?? I said 'balls!'"
Life with boys.
Yesterday the boys got new sketching pads and Ewan sat in the kitchen, coloring furiously. When he was finished, he walked over to me and presented me with this:
OH YES. It IS what you think it is. It's me kicking the sun in the wiener, but kicking it so hard that the sun crapped itself. I cannot emphasize how much I adore the look on the sun's face.
"That's YOU, Mama!" Ewan said, enthusiastically pointing to the little person doing the kicking.
It's now hanging on the fridge, right next to his painting of "Hell But Not the Bad Word the Place."
The takeaway: be careful what you say to your kids. They may draw a visual representation of it.
To toss this month:
- People who do nothing, contribute nothing, offer nothing, yet have the audacity to complain about progress and/or results.
- People who tell me what I can and cannot write about on my own personal website.
- Having to work as much as I do just to keep my head above water because of what is happening to this economy.
- People who only act like family on holidays or whenever presents are involved.
- The obsession with Michael Jackson. Sure, he was a great songwriter and performer but he also molested young boys so as the mother of sons forgive me if I'm not blaring "Thriller" or crying over the memorial video marathon on the cable stations. I'm mourning for the innocence of those kids.
- Sam's not having lemons yesterday.
- The guilty feeling I got upon finding Liam's Nintendo DS, apparently put away atop a bookshelf weeks ago as punishment, after scolding him for losing it.
- High-maintenance people.
- Not having the money or the time to take a vacation.
- Silence when there's too much to think about.
- The work that goes into making your kids' childhood idyllic.
- Those who sell synthetic faith.
Things I would not toss:
- The faith my kids have in me.
- The faith I have in myself, when I have it.
- The support of family, friends, and people who read and/or listen.
- When the heat recedes a bit, dips into the 80s, and is joined by a good breeze.
- My hammock.
- Convincing my kids to nap with me in said hammock.
- Watching Ewan get upset because the earthworms he caught are always trying to run away from him, he says.
- Zia's on the Hill who recently treated me to a fantastic chicken spedini meal. I went by myself after a radio appearance for Party at Berra Park at the owners' invitation. I sat by myself in the corner of the room, stuffed my face, and caught up on my email.(Thanks Mike and Kory!)
- My Palm Pre.
- The release I feel after a good venting.
What's aggravating you or lifting you up today?
- People who do nothing, contribute nothing, offer nothing, yet have the audacity to complain about progress and/or results.
- People who tell me what I can and cannot write about on my own personal website.
- Having to work as much as I do just to keep my head above water because of what is happening to this economy.
- People who only act like family on holidays or whenever presents are involved.
- The obsession with Michael Jackson. Sure, he was a great songwriter and performer but he also molested young boys so as the mother of sons forgive me if I'm not blaring "Thriller" or crying over the memorial video marathon on the cable stations. I'm mourning for the innocence of those kids.
- Sam's not having lemons yesterday.
- The guilty feeling I got upon finding Liam's Nintendo DS, apparently put away atop a bookshelf weeks ago as punishment, after scolding him for losing it.
- High-maintenance people.
- Not having the money or the time to take a vacation.
- Silence when there's too much to think about.
- The work that goes into making your kids' childhood idyllic.
- Those who sell synthetic faith.
Things I would not toss:
- The faith my kids have in me.
- The faith I have in myself, when I have it.
- The support of family, friends, and people who read and/or listen.
- When the heat recedes a bit, dips into the 80s, and is joined by a good breeze.
- My hammock.
- Convincing my kids to nap with me in said hammock.
- Watching Ewan get upset because the earthworms he caught are always trying to run away from him, he says.
- Zia's on the Hill who recently treated me to a fantastic chicken spedini meal. I went by myself after a radio appearance for Party at Berra Park at the owners' invitation. I sat by myself in the corner of the room, stuffed my face, and caught up on my email.(Thanks Mike and Kory!)
- My Palm Pre.
- The release I feel after a good venting.
What's aggravating you or lifting you up today?
I took this photo a few weeks ago before all the stuff in our garden went insane. It has nothing to do with this post. My head is literally floating up to the ceiling out of its neck socket, I'm so tired and out of it today.
This is what I feel like about Michael Jackson. As Chris said, genius musician, sucked at being a human.
I'm exhausted. I had my second radio appearance yesterday, which went AWESOME, and a lot of listeners came out to support, thank you. I filled in for Jamie again this morning for what will be the last time for a while; he's back from vacation on Monday. Sorry it's been light for the past week-and-a-half while I upped my work load for that.
My children want to see Transformers and go swimming and enjoy summer and I'm going to enjoy some down time with them. I'll be back in full force on Monday.
Happy weekending.
Momversation
Dana asks "When are your kids ready for sleepovers?"