Take care to assure that all of the wires, hoses, etc. stick out like stray hairs:
Refuse to clean up the mess incurred from adding two hibiscuses to your garden while blaring a Cult CD at the same offensive volume as the neighbor's Skynard. Leave clods of dirt all over the sidewalk and all of your tools scattered across the lawn for authenticity:
You're done! That was easy! Top it all off by downing a beer while wearing a wifebeater and sitting on your front porch.
BONUS: Sit in your kitchen and watch your new appliance in action, hypnotized by that thur new technology and stainless steel face:
Alternate titles for this post:
The Repairman Laughed When Asked How Much It Would Cost to Fix Our Dishwasher
The Entire Check Amount of My Last Contract Job, in Dishwasher Form
Disclaimer: Chris won't stop bothering me until I write: "It [dishwasher] didn't SIT in the front yard; it was there for like, ten seconds until I moved it into the garage."