The point at which I wanted to DIE


Last night as I got a drink of water before going to bed, Andi told me that she had a hard time falling asleep the other night. She then asked me a question that no parental figures or guardian figures should ever be subject to hearing:

"So um, do you guys have a headboard?"

I spit the water out of my mouth with the force of a geyser.

I know people everywhere do IT and that hi! We have two children, people may begin to suspect that they came to exist as a result of IT, but I have a mental hang-up wherein I seriously cannot handle other people knowing about IT.

"Okay, I'm just going to go DIE NOW. Goodnight!" I replied cheerfully.
I sprinted to the bedroom, shut the door, grabbed Chris and shook him. Chris, who was lying in bed and had been peacefully playing solitaire on his Treo while keeping tabs on an old episode of "Overhaulin'" looked at me like it finally happened! SHE'S FINALLY GONE MAD.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" He asked.

"You do not even want to know what Andi just said to me OHMYGAWD! Chris, she asked if we had a headboard."

"Oookay ...?"

"She prefaced this question by saying that she had trouble falling asleep the other night."

"Yeeah ...?"

"Our headboard narked on us. I wonder if other people, you know, know."

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