He could teach you, but he'd have to charge

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Remember the yard? Of course you remember the yard. It was no longer a yard; it grew to such a size that is developed its own personality and required proper address, such as The Yard.

Lo, The Yard was mowed:

And it was good:

Yes, our yard is really that green and no, it doesn't have anything at all to do with the latest version of Photoshop.

Mike and Brian even took a poll. We have decided to pay the neighbor kid to mow it when Chris can't, may God have mercy on my dollar-wasting soul. You all got into Chris's good graces with that suggestion.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and pop some Aleve because this new schedule is totally kicking my bass.

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Dana asks: "Thanksgiving Traditions: Yours or Your Mother's?"