All the time with the growing and the eating

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I went to Target the other day to buy some fall clothes for the children. Apparently, when Chris and I sleep at night, the boys wake up, put on an outfit, go outside and drag themselves on the sidewalk. They must do this with every single outfit because there is no way that two soft, made-of-meat little boys are this hard on clothes and no - it is not the new LG washer and dryer we purchased when we bought this house, either. The LG washer and dryer don't really wash clothes; inside the drums are actual magical fairies that wave tiny little wands and make the dirt disappear like magic.If we ever had to sell the house I'd keep the washer and dryer and we'd live in them.

 

I went to Target because their clothes are cute and I think anyone who spends more than $25 dollars on a single piece of clothing (excluding coats, suits, Easter dresses, fancy crap, etc.) for a child that will grow out of it in two-three months is either a) rich or b) delusional. Target is not paying me to say that I think their clothes are well made, cute, and cheap. Target, for me, is fancy. I do not shop at Baby Gap; I cannot bring myself to drop $40 on a Macy's Ralph Lauren sweater, because while that sweater and an $8.99 sweater at Target were both made in some factory in the same third-world country, the Ralph Lauren factory workers took the extra ten minutes and used their machines to stitch RALPH LAUREN or some polo emblem into the fabric and BOOM, the price instantly jumps up $30 dollars.

 

(I try to buy American-made when I can, when-I-can meaning when I can physically see it and sadly, it isn't often.)

 

Liam needed new gym clothes, Ewan needed new pants because in addition to dragging his clothes on the sidewalks while we sleep at night Willy Wonka also visits and puts him in that stretch machine he once used on Mike Teevee. His little pants look like capris. I do not believe in the manpri so it was time for new clothes. Unfortunately, he did not inherit much from his big brother who wore predominately secondhand clothes because we were broker than jokes in those days, as compared to being mildly broke now. Liam's old clothes were either purchased entirely from Goodwill or inherited from people we knew. When it comes to furnishing a wardrobe, I can stretch a dollar to infinity.

 

While at Target I bought Ewan some pants, Liam his gym clothes, some long-sleeve t-shirts for both boys, a couple button-downs, and new hooded jackets. I unloaded the items at checkout and then severed a couple of limbs and handed them to the cashier because HOLY CHRISTMAS, the total. All the while Liam and Ewan complained about being hungry - even though they'd had a decent breakfast and it was nowhere near lunch - because they were eager to hurry up and already grow out of what I just bought them.

 

Liam was just excited that I'd bought them hoodies with skulls ("dead guy heads," Ewan calls them), which goes along with Ewan's whole fascination with death. Remind me Monday to show you what he has been dressing up as every single day for the past two weeks.

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