File under: WTF Halloween kid costumes

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Because Halloween is a big deal in our household, a household with two parents who have retained much of their juvenile, goth/Tim Burton aesthetic, our children chose their costumes weeks ago (a ninja and grim reaper/policeman, don't ask). It didn't stop us from looking at the costumes while in Target some time ago, and all I can say is WTF Target children's costumes? Part of me wants to high-five Target for going above and beyond the call of milquetoast children's costume options, but the other half wonders how much weed they had in the boardroom when deciding on what to buy this year:


Oh yes, the HOG SLAYER. Wouldn't an actual hog be required to complete this costume? WTF? Not dragon slayer, no, hog slayer.

Pirate slut A and B:

Um, OMG?

Pirate slut, take 2

I'm really glad there was a variety representative of the may different types of pirate slut. The "glam pirate" isn't bad but seriously, GLAM pirate? Isn't that an oxymoron? Pirates didn't have perfect pigtails, they didn't have sequins on their boots. I take issue with the historical accuracy of this costume.

This was the best store-bought costume I've ever seen in my life and I begged Liam to pick it but he was determined to break my heart because he wasn't having any of it:

Best kids costume EVER, the end

Kudos to this model for trying (and failing) to bring some Johnny Depp spirit to this adult's costume:

This guy thinks he looks hot

God bless Target for their costume descriptions. It's some of the best reading ever:


Liam is dressing as a ninja today and Ewan, who has been dressing as a grim reaper (pictured below) on his own for the past month, is torn between continuing this obsession, or wearing the policeman costume that his Nana bought him.

Ewan, the Harvester of Souls

Either way, he says, he's bringing his sickle.

Have a happy and safe Halloween.


My son (same age as Liam) chose the werewolf costume. It is pretty cool. But I must admit, I still miss the days where I had total control and dressed him as a dinosaur or puppy. :)

Target had this huge chicken costume that I told my brother he should would have been so funny. The guy on the front looked so Goofy!
Your kids are cute :)
Happy Halloween!

OMG!! I am LMAO!!
I am glad Mitchell wants to be the black suited Spider man!!!

That is the funniest expression ever..he's so cute!

I had an 11 year old girl come trick or treating dressed as a hooter's waitress. I think it was the scariest thing I saw all night.

...historical accuracy of this costume.

I just almost snorted my family awake.

Oh, eff. My 3 year old daughter wanted to be a
"princess pirate" & I said that did not exist because I'm just too lazy to be creative this year. Hopefully, she never finds out about this bratz pirate concoction. That might have worked...

Hope Ewan had an easy time making the final decision about the costume and that everyone had fun!

I am so going to be a hog slayer next year. Without a doubt.

You should have FORCED one of your kids to be a squirrel and the other to be a pumpkin with his face scratched off. That, right there, is the perfect group costume.

Oh, yes, I remember looking at the Target costumes too, just yesterday. I remember looking at this one called "French Maid" and then I looked at the age and it said for 14 years and up. I was like "Yes, I do think we need 14 year old girls running around in the dark in French maid's outfits. At least the sex offenders can look." ***much sarcasm here people.***

Seriously whatever happened to the cutesy outfits. My stepson picked out a Star Wars costume that was an adult size. (He a chunky kid, lol.) The costume was 39.99!!!! But anyway, the costume was sooooooo freakin' UGLY!! Then he showed us how when you looked through the plastic eye area, that it was blurry. I said well, maybe your dad can use an exacto knife and cut that part out. He said, ohhhh, that's ok.
Whatever, kid.

Sheesh, I remember running around the neighborhood dressed up like Hollie Hobby. lol

We got off easy. Our oldest was Indiana Jones (already had the hat, the whip and a brown shirt; DH found a shoulder bag for him to wear and done). We had two Robin Hood costumes that we had bought two years ago; the big one now fits the three year old, the little one fits the almost-two year old, so we had very little outlay this year.

And we had the coolest costumes. Nobody else was Robin Hood or Indiana Jones. I saw a couple of pirates, a geisha girl (WTF??), and one neighborhood kid helpfully informed me that he was a "crazy swordsman". I know his parents, so I'm guessin he wanted to go as "killer ninja" and they talked him down.

That hog slayer costume is CREEPY.

Dana - this is really a response to the more recent 'yard sign' post, sorry - I guess you didn't open comments there. But anyway, I've been a long-time reader & this is my first time commenting. I read ya because I like your writing and I have two young kiddos, from Stl, and we're about the same age. I remember when I first realized you were a Republican/conserative ... I was suprised - why? because I feel like I have so much in common with you and I am a hardcore liberal. Ha! But my point is that really, don't we all have so much in common and then during election season I even catch myself thinking 'oh but she's a ...." and I have to stop myself. Anyway, I live in an outlying suburb here now in St. Charles county. A neighbor up the street got their OBAMA yard sign stolen and we were reluctant to put our yard sign out for the same reasons you expressed,so I know how ya feel. We ended up putting ours out anyway - GO OBAMA! But thanks for being one of the few on either side that can try to keep things all civil & stuff:)

I ordered Maddy's pirate costume from a catalog, and when she got it, the shirt was about 4 inches too short. What.The? So we put a long sleeved black t-shirt under it but still, she's NINE for cryin' out loud. Put some clothes on the kids!

I should have bought her the werewolf.

I wonder if I can't rent my house because of my McCain sign? :)

You are ROCKING the 80's look. Priceless.

And how are you going to explain to your three-year-old child that he has become death. Where's the fun if you don't know what character you resemble?

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