I woke up and saw Liam's face, inches from mine, staring at me so as to wake me.
"MOM," he stage-whispered. "EWAN is DOWNSTAIRS sneaking food."
I threw my arm over my head towards the nightstand for my watch. Four-thirty in the morning.
GOOD GRIEF.
I was too tired to remember how I made it downstairs but I woke up when I saw two little fat, pink feet sticking out from the kitchen hallway down which the pantry is located. There amongst the crumbs sat Ewan, his hair sticking every which way, a box of graham crackers in his lap and a cracker in his mouth.
"What?" he asked.
"You tell me." I replied.
He began furiously shoving crackers back in the box like YOU DID NOT SEE THIS, DID NOT SEE THIS, placed the box on the bottom shelf in the pantry, and then walked over to take my hand.
"Good morning, mama," he cooed. He is a major butkisser when he gets into trouble because clearly he thinks that buttering up his authority figures is the way to shirk consequence. Well kid, THAT WORKS in America.
I would brush this off as him just being hungry early, but it goes beyond that. This happens repeatedly. He's hidden food all over the house. It's like living with a three-foot tall cockroach that talks. I've found half-eaten Valentine's candy hidden among the washcloths in their bathroom that he was "saving," chocolate chip granola bars in the sides of his racecar bed; he tries to sneak food in front of us constantly except that he SUCKS at sneaking and HELLO, I can HEAR THE WRAPPER.
I attribute this recent, roach-esque behavior to his picky eating and fondness for sweets. Unlike his brother, Ewan is a picky eater who shrieks at the sight of any green thing on his plate. As I refuse to fix numerous entrees during mealtimes, we have a simple rule in our house: you eat what's served. The end. If you do not eat a particular meal then you are "stuck" on that meal, meaning I will save it, reheat it, and reserve it to whomever did not eat it until it goes bad or is eaten, whichever comes first. It's taken three tries of this method with Ewan but he's learning. Last week he ate the same hamburger for dinner, breakfast, and lunch but by gawd he ate it.
I've cut out all his afternoon snacks and if he does get hungry before a meal I'll offer him what he calls "salad," carrots, cucumbers, celery and peanut butter, apples, or grapes. He only licks the peanut butter off the celery or fruit and he tries to suck the guts out of the grape and leave the skin on the plate. But he's making progress.
Because of this, I've hidden the eight boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mints I ordered (for the kids! Not AT ALL because I am a hog) and refrain from demonstrating bad eating habits which is so hard for me to do because I am seriously a four-year-old in an adult's body: I hate eating corn unless it's on the cob, I have to disguise my greens with butter and choke them down, I dry-heave when faced with a beet; thankfully I love cucumbers and tomatoes. Otherwise, I have the palate of a preschooler. Chris makes fun of me constantly; I do bask in the joy that I am too big for people to make me eat everything on my plate.
Except for the being a parent/setting a good example thing. Ewan and I are learning together.
"MOM," he stage-whispered. "EWAN is DOWNSTAIRS sneaking food."
I threw my arm over my head towards the nightstand for my watch. Four-thirty in the morning.
GOOD GRIEF.
I was too tired to remember how I made it downstairs but I woke up when I saw two little fat, pink feet sticking out from the kitchen hallway down which the pantry is located. There amongst the crumbs sat Ewan, his hair sticking every which way, a box of graham crackers in his lap and a cracker in his mouth.
"What?" he asked.
"You tell me." I replied.
He began furiously shoving crackers back in the box like YOU DID NOT SEE THIS, DID NOT SEE THIS, placed the box on the bottom shelf in the pantry, and then walked over to take my hand.
"Good morning, mama," he cooed. He is a major butkisser when he gets into trouble because clearly he thinks that buttering up his authority figures is the way to shirk consequence. Well kid, THAT WORKS in America.
I would brush this off as him just being hungry early, but it goes beyond that. This happens repeatedly. He's hidden food all over the house. It's like living with a three-foot tall cockroach that talks. I've found half-eaten Valentine's candy hidden among the washcloths in their bathroom that he was "saving," chocolate chip granola bars in the sides of his racecar bed; he tries to sneak food in front of us constantly except that he SUCKS at sneaking and HELLO, I can HEAR THE WRAPPER.
I attribute this recent, roach-esque behavior to his picky eating and fondness for sweets. Unlike his brother, Ewan is a picky eater who shrieks at the sight of any green thing on his plate. As I refuse to fix numerous entrees during mealtimes, we have a simple rule in our house: you eat what's served. The end. If you do not eat a particular meal then you are "stuck" on that meal, meaning I will save it, reheat it, and reserve it to whomever did not eat it until it goes bad or is eaten, whichever comes first. It's taken three tries of this method with Ewan but he's learning. Last week he ate the same hamburger for dinner, breakfast, and lunch but by gawd he ate it.
I've cut out all his afternoon snacks and if he does get hungry before a meal I'll offer him what he calls "salad," carrots, cucumbers, celery and peanut butter, apples, or grapes. He only licks the peanut butter off the celery or fruit and he tries to suck the guts out of the grape and leave the skin on the plate. But he's making progress.
Because of this, I've hidden the eight boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mints I ordered (for the kids! Not AT ALL because I am a hog) and refrain from demonstrating bad eating habits which is so hard for me to do because I am seriously a four-year-old in an adult's body: I hate eating corn unless it's on the cob, I have to disguise my greens with butter and choke them down, I dry-heave when faced with a beet; thankfully I love cucumbers and tomatoes. Otherwise, I have the palate of a preschooler. Chris makes fun of me constantly; I do bask in the joy that I am too big for people to make me eat everything on my plate.
Except for the being a parent/setting a good example thing. Ewan and I are learning together.
Hey Dana,
You may not want to diminish the food hoarding that Ewan is doing. I'm not trying to be the bearer of bad news or make anyone jump to conclusions, but food hoarding in children is typically a sign of something larger; it can be considered a control issue and can lead to larger problems.
When we have foster children in our home, food hoarding tends to be an issue--we find them sneaking food in the middle of the night, food containers and wrappers hidden under the mattress, etc.
Most specialists suggest that the child that does not have a background in food depriviation can just be a particularly strong-willed child that uses the hoarding as a way to exert control. Our child psychologist suggests giving a bit more leeway when it comes to food (ie: not making more than one meal, but giving acceptable choices such as "would you like your milk in a cup or a glass?" or making two smaller portions of veggies and asking "would you like the peas or the carrots tonight?" either way, they eat the veggies and drink the milk!). Another option is to provide a snack cabinet specifically for the child where they can eat from as they please, but filled only with foods the parent feels to be acceptable. Eventually the novelty does tend to wear off and the snacking becomes less and less.
Hope that helps a bit. :D It can be nutty finding food all over the house (and unhealthy!).
Beets taste like red dirt. I don't blame you.
I found this funny, Dana. Ewan reminds me of my young brother, Cody. When he was 5 or 6, he was a notoriously picky eater. He still is today to some extent (and he's 18, while I'm 23) He was always doing the whole sneaking food everywhere type thing, too. I won't offer you any child psychology lesson, cuz I don't have any and I don't believe in that junk to begin with. I'm pretty skeptical of any type of Psychology. I bet there's nothing really to worry about. Kids go through phases. My brother went through a phase when he was always putting ketchup on EVERYTHING, including macaroni and cheese! Gross. But, I don't thing your sitch is anything to worry about. Probably just a genetic thingmajigger...And he'll probably grow out of it. My brother did for the most part.
When my boys were little, I tried to walk the line between "caving" to their food whims and being a dictator about it (which I realized wouldn't work when the mashed potatoes I forced Son #2 to eat were regurgitated right back up!)
Our dinner table looked like a smorgasbord. There was the main dish, one or two side dishes, and multiple vegetables, because the house rule was they had to pick 2 (sometimes 3) vegetables to eat. I made sure there was SOMETHING there for everyone!
The idea seems to have worked; 15 years later Son #2, who was the pickiest one, has a pretty well-rounded diet.
We have this issue with our 3 year old. We had to put a childproof lock on our pantry because we just cannot afford for him to eat a week's worth of snacks in one sneaking session.
We've sat down and talked about there's enough food for everyone and if he is hungry he just needs to ask and I will get him some food. I have a bottle of water available to him at all times. He's grown out of it quiet a bit just in time for our 16 month old to start getting into things (like finding a stepstool and taking bites out of apples on the counter).
My boys just love their food. Haha!
Did you know that there have been studies done that suggest that a child's palate is influenced by what the mother ate while she was pregnant?
It has been interesting for me to see this in action since we adopted our oldest son. There is no question that he eats like his birthmother does (strong aversion to anything that isn't a simple carb ;) ). Our biological children are much more like my husband and I in our eating--willing to try a lot of new foods and have an unnatural love of cheese. My almost three-year-old is the one that really makes me laugh. He insists on covering his eggs in Frank's hot sauce--very much like me.
Obviously, it isn't a given that kids are going to like exactly what their mothers do, but there could definitely be some sort of learned/genetic influence if you tend to be the same way.
I'm with packmama on offering acceptable choices. I've tried the "save & re-serve" option, but it didn't work for us. In our house, we let the kids pick what they want for breakfast & lunch. They get their own breakfast for the most part. Lunch - I'm teaching them all, even the four year old how to fix their own sandwiches or hotdogs, etc. Then I serve what I want for dinner, and they must eat it.
I try to be understanding of the different palates, ie: the oldest can not stomach the taste of peas, so he doesn't get any on his plate. The little guy hates lasagna, so I'll give him something else, usually leftovers from the night before. The girl hates yams, but she loves stuffing, the boys won't touch either. But the end result is the same, they must eat what is on their plate, or they will get no snack.
Rather then make food a power-struggle, I give them the choice. They don't *have* to eat dinner, but they won't get cookies/candy/cake/snack if they don't. Usually the idea of snack is tempting enough to get everyone to choke down a few bites.
We also do the 2 bite rule with new food. They must take two, decent-sized bites of any new food before they can declare they hate it. I make sure new items are surrounded by old favorites so there is something they will eat. We also don't count new food against the snack later if they truly don't like it.
The key to choices - don't make it open-ended. If you ask, "What do you want for lunch?" the answer will be "Cookies! Candy!" So you ask, "Would you like a PB&J, or a Grilled Cheese sandwich?" Now they have the option, & the illusion of control over their diet, while you can be sure they are eating something you approve of.
But... that's what works for us. And really, the key to all parenting dilemmas is to find what works for your family. Keep up the good work mom! *S*
Re-serving their food is an excellent method. I will have to implement that with my 4 year old!
I completely agree that you shouldn't have to make more than one meal at dinner time to please everyone, but I think the whole re-serving thing is a terrible idea. This is the sort of thing that's the root of food issues. I agree with Packmama about the choice of freely available, healthy snacks available to your kids, so that they don't have to go hungry (or hide snacks). No wonder he's sneaking food if he won't eat his dinner and you've also cut his snacks. It seems to me that since you have your own food issues, you'd be more understanding of Ewan's. My thought has always been that there are things that I don't like, and kids have an equal right to not like some things.
Sigh.
Susan - Ewan had (and has) healthy snacks available; unfortunately he wanted junk food. There is a big difference between a child who may just not have a preference for a certain food and a child who refuses to try EVERYTHING.
I don't know about the pregnancy theory. I ate better while pg with my daughter than I did with my son. Guess who the super-picky eater is? Um, yeah. It's the girl. And yes, I give them the same food and treat them the same. One eats everything. The other eats nothing.
I have huge food issues but one thing for me that makes a big difference is texture of the food. In fact that is more a factor than actual taste.
While I certainly am not going to advise you one way or the other (since you didn't ask), after watching my two kids, I genuinely believe picky-eating is sometimes just genetic. You do your best but don't have a tremendous amount of influence. It's just how crazy you want to make yourself I think.
I'm not going to advise because: a) you didn't ask, and b) I'm not a parent yet so what do I know?
But I will say that I did the same thing as a kid. I hid food all over the place lol.
Whether it was just a food thing or something bigger, I really couldn't tell you, but I grew out of it and the healthy eating habits that my parents modeled did eventually set in. I eat ridiculously healthily today =) So just hang in there and keep it up. Beets are pretty nasty, but if you think it's the right choice for your son, you're probably right and you can take solace in the knowledge that this can't go on forever. I learned with my parents just like Ewan's learning with you, after all =)
Good luck!
You have a relative,- once she was told she could not have a sucker because of bad behavior. the next morning her mom found a pile of empty sucker sticks that had been urinated on. Believe it. She turned out to be a fantastic human being!
you might try probiotics. My 5 yr old had this issue BIG TIME. It was a yeast overgrowth (hers was complicated by gluten issues but anyone can have a yeast overgrowth in their gut which makes them insane for sweets). We used these chewable raspberry flavored probiotic tabs we got at the health food store in the fridgerated area.
Lock up the booze!
Kris7
Working hard at www.sccworlds.com
I'm so sorry Dana, I have no idea why I was such a crabby-patty-witch in my earlier comment. My mom (a very bad mother, indeed) filled me with all sorts of food neurosis and so I had this *visceral* reaction to your post. You, of course, know your child and your family better than any of us, and I'm sure you're doing the right thing. My apologies, once again. I really do think you're an excellent mom.
Susan, no worries. ;) Thank you for your words.
funny, i just posted about food and my boys a few days ago. we have twin boys and i am amazed at the difference in their palates. it is almost odd how different they actually are. a vegetable eater that devours meat too, a 'vegetarian' from birth that will not eat veg, only carbs and fats. they both seem healthy right now, but i wonder.
i love how you addressed this topic, always with some laughs and some seriousness. go, good mama.
wow, that's so crazy. I enjoyed reading his whole reaction, just can't believe Ewan. And what was his big brother doing so early himself?? i have picky eaters and not a good eater myself so feel your pain.
although getting up at 4:30 a.m. to eat alone definitely makes one wonder what is up with that. I can understand sneaking food but 4:30 a.m., OMIGOSH, the kid is dedicated. I've always told my kids if you ever eat sneakily, just tell me bc i don't want you to choke by yourselves hiding from me. So now they always steal candy and then I'll see them walking over to me - mouths slowly moving - just to let me know they've got something. it's too funny.
with those squooshy cheeks, hard to imagine he's picky. he seems to be a strong little boy.
Hmmmm...this sounds eerily familiar. I remember a very similar battle between aunt Cayenne and a certain someone! Paybacks....
About a month ago I discoverd that my son "found" his bag of dark chocolate M&M's way at the top of our pantry which 1) he had no clue they still existed and 2) that they were all the way at the top of the pantry out of sight and mind from a 3.5 foot tall 7yo. I went down into the basement to see if he picked up his toys and decided to peek into the bathroom down there. In the shower with a bunch of toys lied the bag of candy. Not only was that gross, I also talked to him about when it is and isn't ok to eat candy and to not help himself into the pantry. Until next time.....
The story about Ewan is cute. Aside from the hoarding, I think a lot of kids go through that stage where they feel that if they want something they just go get it.
I have a kid just like that. She puts chairs up to the counters and stands up trying to get stuff off of the TOP of the cabinets! Check her out...I caught her with the camera! http://wegrzynfamily.blogspot.com/2009/03/thousand-word-thursday.html
Good Luck! we are living with monkey's!
The re-heating idea is GENIUS. I'll have to try that with my 3 year old. Although, it doesn't help with my mum-in-law gives him whatever he wants and will fix him a different meal twelve times until he eats something. Some people are pushovers. :o) I also grew up in a household where you ate what was cooked or you didn't eat at all, so it's hard for me to fathom cooking multiple meals.
When I was little, I used to hide food too. My mom would be cleaning our room and find half-eaten apples under my bed. :o)
Dana,
Be careful with the "you're stuck on that meal until you eat it or it goes bad" approach. Haven't you seen the movie Mommie Dearest??
I sense this is coming as soon as my oldest is out of his crib. He's just a shade past 2 1/2 and the size of the average 4 year-old (both height and weight, thankfully), and he never seems to want to stop eating.
We take him to Cici's pizza occasionally, and in their generosity they let him eat free because of his age. Not wise for the bottom line.
hln
I have a 2 year old son, and he kissed me to make me do something he wanted the other they. And this is the first butkissing of his life, we are very excited. I find it quite early(correct me if I am wrong) and I think we are in trouble.
For Ewan, I know a parent (better not to mention who's mother she is), who did what you are trying for the sake of his son. However, the person has became a very bad picky eater as soon as he left home. He says, I have a free will, no one can tell me what I will have, you are not my mother. Limiting choices for one particular meal, and leaving him hungry for that meal seems less stressing to me.
Dana: I told this event as a bed-time story to my seven and five year old, "Once upon a time there was a mom..."
and they laughed so hard and got such a kick out of it bc they thought it too was real funny, esp. the little boy's response when he was found.
so thanks for the story idea when i was going completely blank!!
I love ewan's "What?" and then, "Hello Mamma" all sweet. Kids are brilliant, aren't they?
I have the pickiest eater ever known to the world and have been told numerous times (by doctor professions) to Stop. Worrying. About. It. It is ANNOYING as HELL though, I'll give you that much. I used to be the pickiest eater ever known to the world, at least until my daughter came along. So my mom? She's all "Haha. Payback is a bitch."
oh.my.god.
have recently begun to find random candy wrappers and granola bar foils hiding in odd places around our daughter's room.
is this what she's moving towards becoming -- an ewan-roach?
do i need to plant a nanny cam?
but she's also been hiding panties behind her furniture. and i'm pretty sure i do not want to know why.
I LOVE the "what?" statement, as if being up in the middle of the night pigging out is perfectly normal!
Jo Anna - we constantly find candy wrappers that my oldest daughter (13) hides in her room, behind her bed, etc.
Also, she has always just stuffed her clothes under couch pillows, behind furniture, in the corners of ANY room, etc. This was recently cured, however, when my wife and I started taking down pictures and other wall art and hanging up her clothes instead. A thirteen year old does NOT want to see her underwear hanging on a hook!
I have a food stealer also!!! She hides stuff in bags, under stuff, behind stuff... all over. This time I found a can of cold refried beans and a bag of cheese under Hub's recliner!!! She would live on bean burritos if I let her!!! My kids are pretty good eaters, but we also have the Must Taste rule. They must take at least one bite of everything on their plate according to their age. ex: the five year old takes 5 bites of whatever it is she doesn't think she likes. They don't have to be huge bites and they don't have to clean their plates. I also make sure there is something they will eat at each meal. (usually fruit) A couple of weeks ago I came across a blog post about the Tasty Tasty Club, basically each kid gets a punch card with I think 8 punches, when the kid eats or tastes something they don't like they get a punch. When the card is full they get some reward. I think one family let the kids choose a place to eat when ALL of the kids had a full card, but you could do any reward or an individual reward. Here is the blog address if you want to read more about it. flipflopsandapplesauce.com