Chicago, not the band

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Driving to Midway we passed the "Married with Children" fountain and I realized that I didn't get so see nearly as much of the city as I'd wanted. I love Chicago because it is in so many ways similar to St. Louis with its architecture and Midwest aesthetic but it also has a river running through it, a professional basketball team, Navy Pier, a great aquarium, a killer rock'n'roll scene, and it was the setting for my favorite John Hughes movies. I loaded my Pre with Simple Minds.

Love the gold

Saturday night Kelly, one of my two hotel mates, the other being Tracey, hit Niu Japanese Fusion where we had some of the best mojitos and sushi we've ever tasted. I hated mojitos up until that point; I know they were the drink of Hemingway and I quipped that I know why I blew his head off with an elephant gun if he had to drink that crap. Made properly and they're awesome.


After last year's Blogher a lot of women complained about the "mommyblawwwwger" focus. It's too focused on mom bloggers, everyone pays attention to the moms, etc. I'm cynical and figured that some were complaining just to complain. Seriously, BloghHER; a lot of women have children, mothers are the biggest, most attractive marketing niche right now, there are many reasons as to why there would be this slant. I understood it. I got it. But I also get how annoying it can be when you want to take part in things non-mommy-related. I felt it.

A lot has changed this past year. I've been blogging since 2001 - I was blogging about politics for three years before I ever blogged about motherhood - and two years ago returned to political blogging while still maintaing the "mom blog" that got me attention and afforded me many opportunities. The reactions I've received from this has been strange. Politicos whose blogs were created after my now-defunct political blog were all Ugh, a "mommyblogger," here we go. I got emails - something I'm going to go into later because it's not entirely apropos - about it, asking about my "sudden" interest in politics. During the conference, I was asked by a few people why I got so "politicky." Another asked me when I was going to go back to "mom-blogging" because politics is rough, didn't I know?

I know they were motivated to ask because of genuine curiosity, but that doesn't temper the weirdness that I absorbed from the question. I didn't realize that I couldn't write about more than one thing. Women are like any other humans: complex, multi-faceted people with varying interests and varying degrees of passion about those interests. The idea that in order to belong to a group one must strip away all else else arbitrarily deemed non-essential to that group seems regressive.

There were some things I liked and disliked about this year's Blogher:


 - The unprecedented grab for swag. Amy's baby was literally elbowed in the head, ELBOWED IN THE HEAD by a woman who was hell-bent on getting a swag bag Friday night. People would literally knock others and stuff down just to get a free mousepad or coloring book. Whiskey tango foxtrot, indeed.


- Some of the marketing angles. I love that companies take women bloggers seriously, but just an FYI, we will still like your product regardless if it comes in pink or with a free tube of chapstick as an enticer.

- The blogger-lobbyists. I was approached by a blogger in the bathroom while washing my hands. Instead of exchanging pleasantries, swapping URLs, or anything else, she thrust a card at me which detailed information about the product she was promoting in exchange for having her hotel and travel expenses sponsored. There. In the bathroom. Right after I washed my hands but before I dried them. It should go without saying that the toilet is a sacred space where we don't want to be confronted by sales pitches - but I feel even more strongly about the blogging community being the same: a respite, a break, a sanctuary. I don't want to be pitched in the crapper just as I don't want to field a pitch by someone whom I thought was here to connect with, not sell, other women like me.

- The entire "Nikon hates babies" mamadrama. Nikon doesn't hate babies any more than you do for refusing to secure adequate childcare in your absence or for the dereliction of duty in failing to talk to the PR rep before the party, weeks in advance when the invites were first sent. No company should take the fall for your poor planning so stop abusing the community to spread ill will based upon a self-inflicted offense.

- That conservative bloggers were shut out and excluded from private lunches and meetings on health care with Valerie Jarrett and senior White House Aides. I don't make big deals out of things which do not merit it and this is the first time I've ever wrote a wrap-up of this kind about Blogher or have gotten political here in quite some time. This dislike actually made me a bit upset because had this gone in reverse, heads would have ROLLED and DRAMAOMGWTF. Apparently, as a woman, my concerns about healthcare legislation don't count unless I lean a particular way, politically. Wasn't the mantra to approach this with a spirit of bipartisanship? Wasn't this weekend about elevating the presence of women on the internet? Do conservative women not count?

- The inconsistent availability of wifi.

- The tacky, douchey shirts about women's boobs and otherwise creating a statement totally ironic to the conference's original purpose. I have no problem with someone else's bad taste so long as it doesn't inflict harm upon me


Jennifer James and Shannon Entin

- My panel on using blogging as a homeschooling tool. I first pitched the idea months ago and submitted a dream team of bloggers I'd like to have on it; two were selected and it was a phenomenal discussion. Women shared their experiences and knowledge; all that was missing was a campfire and s'mores. 

 - The Mamapop party (yours truly). It was so needed and beyond fun to dance and connect with other women at a party not focused on sponsor-appreciation or swag, but on the people who attended. No one showed up because they were baited with the promise of swag; they showed up to have a good time together. The Mamapop overlords (LOVE them) gave each of us writers wonderful thank-you gifts, they fed us food and drinks, and I kid you not it felt like the best summer camp EVER. It's not to say anything bad of sponsors in general because I realize that they are needed and appreciated; but there needs to be a balance. 

- The Method suite. This, this is how it's done and I almost feel dirty for mentioning a company name even though they have no idea I just did so. The home product company had a quiet suite and offered appetizers and drinks to women who came by, as well as simple samples, a few products, and coupons. I did not seek out swag - in fact, the only swag bag I got was the Blogher swag bag. I did make an effort to go to the Method suite, however. When Liam was first diagnosed with severe allergies and asthma and we had to rip out all of our carpeting, change our diets, et al. to keep from going to the ER every month for asthma attacks and to minimize his need to go on oral steroids to help control his airwaves. I also had to limit my use of harsh chemicals and Method was, at the time, the only company with an entire line of products for the home which would be OK for us to use around Liam. (In case you think I'm exaggerating, I couldn't even vacuum in the same room he was in or let him outside for more than 40 minutes at a time as a little kid else trigger an asthma attack.) I wanted to share that with them and I got a coupon for some of their scent-free home products.

- Audio set up. As the wife of a man who makes a living in music and production and is a ridiculously annoying audiophile with All the Speakers, and as someone who works in radio, sound is important. Last year I thought there were issues with not having enough mics, the sound being too low, et al., but the sound and techs were fantastic this year. Each room, provided the speakers positioned the mics the proper distance from their mouths, had great sound and each panel (I didn't get to all of them but the ones I did get to) had more than enough gear to accommodate the speakers and moderators.

- The fantastic organization by Lisa, Elisa, and Jory.

- My roommates. I don't trust many women with the sight that is my Don King fro in the morning and these two are exceptions. Tracey put together all our Mamapop gift bags and tried to be all sneaky-like while we were downstairs sucking down the wifi. I'd not met Kelly until this conference and she is now my photo-bombing partner-in-crime.

Normal faces:

Regular sane people faces

Photo-bomb faces:

Photo bomb faces

- The Cheeseburgherz party (great job, ladies), which I wrote was like the house party you always wanted to have when your parents were gone but were too afraid to pull off, and the wonderful Recovery Breakfast Isabel threw the following morning. I cannot say how much I appreciated how, the morning I packed up, all bleary-eyed and yawny, the breakfast, Starbucks' coffee, and muffins. I was freaking out most of my Sunday worrying about show prep for this week and it was so incredibly awesome to have a place to go to get that important first meal of the day.

- All of the women who remarked to me so what if we don't see eye to eye politically? I danced with women at the Mamapop party who I've gone round and round with in a debate; I hugged and toasted with women who I know disagree with my ideology in part or whole and you know what? It is as I have always said: so long as you can sit back and have a beer together at the end of the day, it's all good. And it was.


More faux toes here.


Hi Dana! It looks like you had a good time in Chicago! I'm so bummed that I didn't make it to BlogHer, because I totally would have been that dork that said "Omigosh! Hi! I love your blog! EXCLAMATION POINT!" But, I wouldn't have tried to pitch a product.

Great pictures!

Great wrap up, Dana. I'm glad you had a good time. Hope you're surviving your second crazy week in a row!

Sounds like a great time! Love the photos!

FYI - Buckingham Fountain. Glad you had fun.

I was so excited to see a homeschooling panel on the schedule. Thank you and your co-panelists for an interesting discussion and for recognizing how important this topic is to many of us.

Great to meet you too!

It's funny that you mention the "love your blog even though we disagree politically" angle. I was chatting with a friend the other day about blogs we like and I told her about yours. I summed it up with those exact words. Regardless of politics, we're both mothers to young boy(s) and there is our commonality. I also think that despite the fact that we vote differently it doesn't mean that we disagree about everything else in life. I think that is only the case when someone is an extremist, and adamantly refuses to see the common humanity in people who disagree with them. The extremists on both sides scare the crap out of me, because they are blind to their impact outside of their limited mission. And, they don't do the sisterhood any favors, either.

Share the love... and love the blog!

I'll throw out a little DRAMAOMGWTF that conservative bloggers weren't invited to political discussions. How the hell are we ever supposed to understand each other if we don't talk?

(And I, by the way, probably hold political opinions diametrically opposed to yours. We do agree on Simple Minds, though.)

I kind of lost count on the number of people who I saw beating on their computers with frustration over the WiFi.

I really wish that I had thought of something more insightful than, "Why aren't you wearing your hat?" or whatever the heck I said at the Cheeseburgherz party.

Still, it was good to officially meet you.

Let me try this again, since my browser just ate my response.

Clearly I am on the same page as you and I didn't even attend, based on my last Nikon-ish post.

And I still can't believe I went another year without seeing you. I know a place in Denver that makes great mojitos. HINT HINT.

Ahhh 2001. You and I were the token conservatives on teh internets!! I for one am so glad to see you go back into politics head first. I continue to learn so much from you.


I have been searching for a honest non-swag hunting review of the conference. As a blogger who is just getting started, I was intrigued by the conference but didn't know enough about it to commit to it. Thank you for the review and maybe next year we can toast to political tolerance! Oh and p.s. our cleaning cupboard is filled with Method. I love every product they have to offer but favor the pink grapefruit line. It is so refreshing to have a house smell "non-chemical clean."

Her baby got elbowed in the head by a swag seeker. Whisky Foxtrot Tango. As someone who works in Law Enforcement, I can't tell you how funny this is to me. (not the baby being hurt, but your description of it. Glad you had fun!

Your title has reminded me that St. Louis needs a band named after it!

I loved hanging out with you.

One of my favorite moments was when I said, no offense, but I'm not going to your panel, and you said, that's a little bit like me going to a panel on shaving your balls. Are you homeschooling?

And instantly, it was ok that we don't see eye to eye on everything. And I answered your legal question. Did that come up in the panel?

Loved the homeschooling and social media discussion, it was probably one of the better parts of the conference. I gave up on wifi late Thursday night and relied on my phone for the rest of the weekend. Other than that it was a great time!

*heavy breathing*
how's that mojito treating you?

not related... I just saw you in Fox News! lol :-)

I am SO glad that you said something about being left out of the health care reform party lunch thing. You are very right....if the shoe were on the other foot, all hell would break loose. Keep doing what you're doing!

I saw you on Greta during the night on a replay. You rock!

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Dana asks: "Thanksgiving Traditions: Yours or Your Mother's?"