When I first saw how bad the boys' sunburns were upon returning from their grandparents' I was shocked; when I saw that Ewan had developed blisters the size of quarters on his upper arms I almost cried and would have were not two boys depending on me to hold my stuff together. Chris and I washed their arms with vinegar and coated them with aloe. Ewan screamed and cried in pain. I had to hold him while Chris doctored his arms. He screamed "why is this happening to me?" and other things which caused Chris and I to give each other sorrowful looks.
In an effort to distract Ewan I thought of the silliest, most ridiculous thing to say, something which borrowed from the bathroom humor he finds so unbelievably hysterical.
"You know what I'm gonna do?" I asked him in a low voice.
"What?" he sobbed.
"I'm gonna go outside, find the sun, and kick the sun in the wiener for burning you."
He burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"MOM." Liam slid into the doorway aided by his socks. "Suns don't have ..."
"BE QUIET."
"They're balls of gas ..."
"STOP IT AND GET YOUR PAJAMAS ON."
"Hahaha! MOM. Did you hear me?? I said 'balls!'"
Life with boys.
Yesterday the boys got new sketching pads and Ewan sat in the kitchen, coloring furiously. When he was finished, he walked over to me and presented me with this:
OH YES. It IS what you think it is. It's me kicking the sun in the wiener, but kicking it so hard that the sun crapped itself. I cannot emphasize how much I adore the look on the sun's face.
"That's YOU, Mama!" Ewan said, enthusiastically pointing to the little person doing the kicking.
It's now hanging on the fridge, right next to his painting of "Hell But Not the Bad Word the Place."
The takeaway: be careful what you say to your kids. They may draw a visual representation of it.
In an effort to distract Ewan I thought of the silliest, most ridiculous thing to say, something which borrowed from the bathroom humor he finds so unbelievably hysterical.
"You know what I'm gonna do?" I asked him in a low voice.
"What?" he sobbed.
"I'm gonna go outside, find the sun, and kick the sun in the wiener for burning you."
He burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"MOM." Liam slid into the doorway aided by his socks. "Suns don't have ..."
"BE QUIET."
"They're balls of gas ..."
"STOP IT AND GET YOUR PAJAMAS ON."
"Hahaha! MOM. Did you hear me?? I said 'balls!'"
Life with boys.
Yesterday the boys got new sketching pads and Ewan sat in the kitchen, coloring furiously. When he was finished, he walked over to me and presented me with this:
OH YES. It IS what you think it is. It's me kicking the sun in the wiener, but kicking it so hard that the sun crapped itself. I cannot emphasize how much I adore the look on the sun's face.
"That's YOU, Mama!" Ewan said, enthusiastically pointing to the little person doing the kicking.
It's now hanging on the fridge, right next to his painting of "Hell But Not the Bad Word the Place."
The takeaway: be careful what you say to your kids. They may draw a visual representation of it.
Sunblock that goes unused = 5$
aloe vera gel & vinegar to nurse a super bad sunburn = 10$
ER visit for blistering sunburn = several hundred $$
Picture of Mom kicking the Sun in the Wiener = Priceless.
___
So sad the boys got such bad burns, hope they will be ok soon!
That's hilarious! At least we know now that the sun is a boy. I will never "look" at the sun the same way now.
While you're out there, could you knee these freakin' storm clouds in the groin as well? They have long stayed their welcome.
Here's to tough talkin' action hero sun kickin' mama's, and fast healing for the boys. Sunburns SUCK. A Bahamian one ruined my honeymoon; although in hindsight, I shoulda seen that trip as a harbringer of things to come...
Kicking in the "wiener" is not only more difficult, but less effective than a blow delivered to the "Beans".
On the other hand, fantastic story and very talented pic. That will stay on the Fridge for a long time... and you must save it to present to Ewan as a Wedding Gift!
Do I wanna know what that red thing is at the bottom of the sun?
LOL. Our refrigerator boasts a picture my 4-year-old recently drew of me with a baby in my belly and...nipples. I had a hard time keeping a straight face while complimenting him on his attention to details.
It is just amazing to see their little minds at work.
(And, no, I don't walk around the house topless!)
"Be careful what you say to your kids." That is a lesson I know all too well. Not that I have a picture like that to prove it or anything.
So funny. We are beginning to have this problem at our house too. We have a dog who is adored by my children and husband, but irritates the crap out of me. Like jumps out of my window and knocks the screen out annoys me. Lately my son has starting calling the dog "that damn dog". Oops.
Too cute! I can only imagine the things my son will do and say as he gets older, especially if he is anything like his daddy. And thank you for the future "giggle tool." I'm sure it will come in handy for me at some point:)
Oh my that's hilarious! I love the Sun's eyebrows... they really depict his anguish.
Enjoy the refrigerator art. In less than 10 years, they will be putting their photos of themselves and drawings on MySpace, Facebook, or the current equivalent thereof.
It will be about 3-4 years from now for Liam if you give the kid any computer time.
All my relatives were too scared of me to send my kid home with a sunburn, although she did pick up lice from a younger cousin one time. Sunburn=way more painful. We use sunscreen year-round here. Next time, send them with a giant tube of Boudreaux's Butt Paste for their faces & shoulders.
This just made my day! Thanks for sharing!
That is AWESOME!
Now, anything that does anything bad to my kids is getting kicked in the wiener, whether it has one or not.
SO sorry your babies got burnt! espcially this weekend, theres enough going on...LOVE the drawing! It's begging to be framed.
OMG, can I please please please use that illustration in my company's next sun safety campaign????
I'll never forget when my brother got a blistering sun burn. We were in Target when the blisters decided to pop.
It was like all of a sudden, giant raindrops were pelting his shirt from inside the store.
My 5 yo daughter loves that type of humor.