Dana: July 2010 Archives

This summer swallowed me up. But like that gross concluding scene in MIB 1, I fought it from the inside and blasted it open with a laser gun. 

Thoughts of the summer:

- Sometimes when I've nothing left to string together a sentence, bullets rock. 

- I love my kids. They are so unbelievable well-behaved and I know that every mother likes to think that of her own kids but no, mine have been golden considering the pressure that their mother has been under, they've risen to the challenge of having a mother who accidently graded one of their papers with a lip liner pencil while sitting on the toilet painting her toenails before doing a radio show later that afternoon and a hit on Larry King. They've learned so much too, just by the nature of soaking up everything that sloshes off my palette. 

- I'm very fortunate. Not just to be living in this country and for the opportunities I've helped to earn but simply for the clear head to recognize it all. 

- We have to get a new car. I don't want a car payment. I've loved not having one but now we're at the point where there's not avoiding it. I joke about driving a Mercedes S Class 550 (black, black leather interior) but I don't need things ostentatious for the sake of it, just something that does the job and isn't a clown car of death. Groan. 

- The grass is always greener on the other side of the septic tank, Bombeck once wrote. 

- Ewan officially starts school this year. Yesterday he helped me check the mail and read off the senders on the envelopes. I have no idea how he did it. He knows his vowels and many of his blends but he's just now K5 this year. He read them off, placed them on the console in the living room, and walked off on his still small, not-quite-gross-yet baby ham feet. 

- Mmmm, ham. 

- I need a vacation. After my last whirlwind trip to NYC where I had to work after doing Wendy's show (soooo fun) and a bit of seeing the city, I returned and literally set up camp in the corner of our sofa where I resided all weekend, moving only when necessary. We watched documentaries, we read, together and separately, and it was the most amazing weekend I've had in such a long time. I purposefully stayed in my pajamas and so did the boys most of the day Saturday. It stormed outside, ruining a pool day, and we hunkered down under quilts. It's one of those weekends that will stay in my memory, one of the things I bring forth in my mind whenever times get stressful and I need a place to retreat to mentally. 

- KISS on Jay Leno. They sound as good as they did 20 years ago. 

- Little mini Oreos. Excellent way to trick the mind into thinking that you can eat more because they're smaller. 

An Open Letter to AT&T

Do you ever find yourself dealing with a company so slimy and incompetent that you feel the need to wash your hands even after waiting on hold with them for 15 minutes? Because THAT'S HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW ABOUT THIS COMPANY.

Flash back in time, back in March, when we ended our service with AT&T Uverse to go with another company. AT&T didn't want to let go. We had our billing set up automatically and we never expected that a company like AT&T would LOOT OUR BANK ACCOUNT like a bunch of (screw it, I'm completely over offending people at this point so pick your poison:)

1) hillbillies at a Bass Pro Shop free-for-all*
2) spray-tanned skanks at a Victoria's Secret buy-one-get-one panty sale*
3) idiot poseur anarchists at a G8 protest

After a tantrum on Twitter, because waiting on their help line for days on end only to get disconnected wasn't helping, we finally got them to refund the hundreds and hundreds of dollars they stole took from our account. We had to cite fraud with our bank and change all of our information which was a hassle but hey - whatever it took to get the message across to AT&T that they have to stop taking money from former customer's bank accounts without permission because, I'm not sure in what reality AT&T resides, but in my reality, in the reality of most of the mammals here on planet Earth, that is called "stealing."

That was last month. The story should have stopped there and we could say the end, goodnight, but this is AT&T, the story NEVER STOPS. 

So Friday evening when checking the mail I noticed that those DELIGHTFUL LITTLE BUGGERS at AT&T sent us a bill. They couldn't loot our bank account so this time they sent us a bill of over $600 for new phantom services. 


I called them on Saturday. "The office is closed" said the little recorded man.
He said it again on Sunday too, even though people told me on Twitter that no, HAHAHA, they're open. They just don't want to talk about why they keep trying to loot money from you.

Finally, after a long day with the kids and work, I called them in the 4pm hour. They were open! I was on hold for 15 minutes when a woman finally answered. 

"I'm going to need a supervisor or manager because my problem is major," I said and she replied: "CLICK. DIAL TONE."



So I called back. 

"Our offices are now closed," said the little recorded voice man. 


"What's that? I'm sorry, I'm having difficulty understanding."

And then I hung up. 

I regret ever going with AT&T UVerse because AT&T has always been a nightmare with which to deal - and I've dealt with insurance companies, one who once told me that they couldn't cover the birth of my child because my child wasn't enrolled at the time of service. Yes. AT&T is worse to deal with than that. Take my experience as a warning and run like all hades is after you in the opposite direction.

Hopefully I'll have this settled, for the fourth time, tomorrow. 

[*: No, I do not think that only hillbillies/skanks shop at Bass Pro Shop/Victoria's Secret, unclench, laugh, exhale. Yes, I do think that all poseur anarchists are idiots, that's why there's no asterisk by it.]

Hello, NYC

This morning I'll be back on the ever lovely Wendy Williams' show for Momversation

Can I just say how amazing her production staff is? Because they are. No stone unturned. 

It's a beautiful day in the city and I'll be in and out after her show, when I'm not working (no vacations days in radio! I'm broadcasting from NYC).

Hair Update!

I haven't meant to be neglectful - finishing a massive project that I have to send off plus work plus two very energetic children. 

I got a lot of email from ladies very interested in seeing what exactly my hair would look like after a couple of weeks of washing, drying, and styling. Ta-da:


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Dana asks: "Thanksgiving Traditions: Yours or Your Mother's?"