Parenthood: December 2008 Archives

Kid-toucher websites dot com

| | Comments ()
The internet is capable of two things simultaneously: it can make me feel connected and informed, and it can also make me feel completely neurotic. It's also hard to be a parent. Parenting in the information age? That much harder. Sometimes I wonder if the worry it gives me outweighs the benefits. I talk about it this week with some of the other ladies over at Momversation.

Breast Christmas Ever

| | Comments ()
I took my kids to see the Mall Santa Claus today after the incessant "don't be a Scrooge!" from both my inbox and from my husband. I stood in line and went along with all the other little stories that the parents were telling their kids, like "Santa's off feeding his reindeer right now." The whole thing felt like a deleted scene from "A Christmas Story."

I didn't spoil the boys' wide-eyed wonderment, and Ewan was in such awe by the time it was their turn to sit with Santa that I had to retrieve his jaw from the floor so as to get him moving. I was going to sneak some photos of them meeting Santa for the first time but the elves said it was prohibited and one of them was staring at me as I tried to take photos with my phone (which was futile and I only got shots of my thumb).

It was even more precious when Liam told Santa that all he wanted for Christmas was "to have the breast Christmas ever."

He was a good Santa; he didn't skip a beat and with a straight face said that all of his Christmases should be the best ones ever.

Ewan told Santa that he wanted a Toodee, a train, and a "spot elephant." I'm all WTF? on that last one, too. 

On the way out we saw some Marines ("NUTCRACKERS!" Ewan hollered and pointed. I didn't correct him because in a way it was true) and other servicemen and as custom, we stopped them, shook their hands, and thanked them for their service. I am not a mushy person by any means but to see Liam give thanks nearly made me sob like a big giant baby right in the mall next to a kiosk of knock-off purses.

Waiting for Santa
Waiting for Santa.

Are you ready for another kid?

| | Comments ()
I recently joined the lovely ladies over at Momversation, the first of its kind internet talk show, and I'll be recording regular episodes. I'm excited about doing something in a different medium. My first one is up and it deals with the age-old question of when (and if) to add to your family. As I say in the video, it's something we've been discussing and we're being gently nudged by family. Which kind of weirds me out because, you know, they're essentially telling us to do it.

Maybe there is a Santa Claus

| | Comments ()
Chris and I screwed up big time the other day.

One of Liam's front teeth fell out, leaving him with a gap-toothed smile that melts my heart and that much more room in his mouth for backsass. The tooth was loose for forever and Liam refused to let us pull it out lest we take his head off in the process. One morning while getting out of the shower I heard Liam yelling from downstairs, something about oh gawd help him, Daddy is trying to rip his tooth out of his head. Liam has mastered the thespian discipline of drama at the tender age of eight years, so I wasn't concerned.

I love his toothless grin

"If you'd just stand still it'll be out in a second!" Chris hollered back.

Later Liam showed me his tooth and we stored it carefully in a snack-sized Ziploc bag and wondered aloud about how much money the tooth fairy would bring him.

A couple of days later while on the phone with his grandmother, Liam said that the tooth fairy was a bunch of crap because she didn't leave him anything and his tooth was still under his pillow.

Parents = FAIL.

"I thought you got it," Chris whispered.

"No, I thought you did."

While Liam was on the phone I darted into the boys' room and shoved a dollar underneath his pillow and snatched his tooth. Which reminds me: I will never forget the day I found a bagful of my baby teeth while searching for a belt to borrow in my mom's dresser. I thought that she maybe had taken up voodoo before I realized what it was. It simeltaneously touched me that she saved them and bummed me out because I had always wondered what exactly happened to my baby teeth and seeing them there in a bag in her dresser drawer caused any remaining fairy dust to dissipate. I was like, 14, too, which makes it even more pathetic.

Liam caught on to us and told Chris that he knows he just shoved a dollar underneath his pillow. The tone in which he said it, the sigh he gave at the end, really struck me. I've written before how I detest the Easter Bunny, Santa, all of that make-believe junk because it seems like such a distraction from the real reasons they exist, but when I heard the snideness in Liam's voice I realized right then that I don't want to raise a cynic like myself. If I can give him even a temporary suspense of reality, a tiny big of magic in his youth, then perhaps that's something.

So I swooped in and told one of the biggest lies in my life about how oh yes, the tooth fairy is real, and how much money did you get? A dollar? I was ripped off; the most I ever got was maybe fifty cents. Chris chimed in and agreed without missing a beat while throwing me an sideways incredulous glance. And Liam's eyes grew wider and he began to brag slightly about how his tooth brought in more than either of his parents had ever received. He folded the dollar into his bulldog wallet and wiggled another loose tooth in his mouth.

"Can't wait to see how much I get for this one," he exclaimed. "It's a big one!"

His wide-eyed wonder was restored and I have to admit, it's kind of catching.

Powered by Movable Type 4.1




Dana asks: "Thanksgiving Traditions: Yours or Your Mother's?"