Wife/mother/woman crap: May 2008 Archives


This morning I emceed an event so far out west I didn't think that Mapquest would recognize the address. All this means is that I have completed my transformation into a City Driver, one who is loathe to drive outside of city limits and crosses the Missouri in white knuckle terror. I enjoyed a couple of blissful hours in my expensive black suit with my favorite t-shirt underneath, eating bacon amongst executives. Even though my backside gnawed on my pantyhose, I did not adjust myself in public, thankyouverymuch Mother. I stopped by the grocery store on the way home and the bagger mistook me for an office mother. I made a mental note to wear fancy clothes more often. And to get new pantyhose and burn the old ones.

I arrived home to find my children still in their pajamas with doughnut icing smeared across their faces; they ran to hug me and then went back to fighting over Wii games. I hung my suit back up into my closet, where it will stay for another however many months, and slipped into my track pants. I had my turn this morning; Chris is now gone to work and regular life resumes.

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